Sins of the Past
by Lady Dragon Daiken Priestess
Summary: Is it possible to make up for past mistakes? Slight shonen-ai...if you're looking for it


_**Disclaimer**: I don't own Digimon, or any of the characters I use within. A poor girl like me isn't worth suing. This takes place before and during "Genesis of Evil". (Yes, I'm a horrid Digimon fan, I don't remember the Japanese name for the episode, and I **did** just finish watching it. =) )_

**Sins of the Past**  
Lady Dragon

I watched helplessly as it happened. 

He turned into me, and no matter how much I screamed and raged against it, desperately trying to reach out to try and stop _it_ from happening, he didn't even hear me. 

Actually, that's not quite true. He _did_ hear me, and the results...I still shudder to this day thinking about it. Luckily he's still asleep, and doesn't see me watching him. 

I'm sorry, I should introduce myself. I'm not used to using my manners anymore; it's been years since I've seen anyone but him. My name's Ichijouji Osamu, or at least it used to be. Why am I telling you all this? That's about the only simple answer I have to all of this, and the last question I can answer. 

I know he's told you about who he was when he was younger. Not even the reporters that used to shadow my every movement could remember the name of my baby brother. 

I can't take full responsibility for who he became, but most of it...yes, yes I can. 

You know, I can't even remember when things changed, when the notoriety finally went to my head. I started to see my gentle baby brother as competition for the attention I was craving. Isn't that funny? People on the other side of Japan knew who I was, and I absolutely started to loathe the few moments my parents looked away from me. 

And he knew it. The last straw was that strange fuse thing...yes I know _now_ it's called a Digivice, but I didn't then. Funny, I could sense how much power it had even while dormant, _and_ that it wasn't for me. But there was no way my baby brother was getting something cooler than me. 

And when he finally rebelled and took what was rightfully his...You know, right after I died, I tried so many times to convince myself I hit him to protect him, but you know as well as I do that's not true. I was jealous, plain and simple. In that moment, the Kaiser was born...all because of me. 

He spent years trying to make up to our parents for something that wasn't his fault. He thought the only way to make up for his childish wish was to _become_ me...and he did. 

You know, dying gives you a new perspective on life. An older brother is supposed to protect, not corrupt their siblings. 

Thank whatever powers that guide us for Wormmon...and for you. 

After the accident, I woke up to see nothing but a gray fog. Time doesn't mean much in that cosmic waiting room, and I don't remember much of what I did there. I do know I was given a choice, and that I hesitated until they showed me an image of what Ken had become. That settled it. I might not have been the best big brother while I was alive, but there had to be _something_ I could do to reach him. I mean, there's reports of the dead reaching out and helping their loved ones who still lived. 

But every time I tried to reach him, he would just murmur in his sleep 'This is for you Niisan' and grow even colder. 

Then you came along, though to be honest he noticed you from the beginning. How do I know? From the moment of my choice, I was never far away from him...if my little brother was going down, I was going to go with him. 

You cracked the ice around his heart, and Wormmon melted it forever with his generous sacrifice...and then the _real_ miracle happened, at least for me. 

I found myself back in that gray fog. I looked up and begged for them to let me go back. I knew Ken was going to need someone, and even if he couldn't sense me awake, I hoped I'd be able to do _something_ to ease his pain. Then this strange old man with a gleaming white ponytail appeared. 

I won't bore you with all the details, but I was offered a choice. And for as long as it took me to decide, Ken would sleep. The decision didn't take very long though. What is humanity after all, but a state of mind, and I'd already seen what kind of person he is. 

I was given a choice, and the moment I made my decision, Ken felt an irresistible urge to go back to the Digiworld. And when we came landed, out of sight of prying eyes, his crest began to glow. 

I'm telling you this because things are getting harder for me to remember clearly now. I think its finally time for me to go. And though I know you don't blame Ken for anything, and I know he's told you a lot...I wanted to make sure you knew everything, so you can help comfort him when the nightmares start again. There's only so much comfort this little body can give, and the unconditional love we can give just isn't the same as the unconditional love you give. Take care of him for me, Daisuke. 

~*~

Wormmon reached out with one of his front legs and hit send on the email, then carefully removed the microphone for the voice recognition program. Yawning tiredly, he hopped off the desk and back up the ladder to snuggle up next to his partner. By the time his eyes closed, he completely forgot he'd ever been out of bed. 

Osamu opened his eyes to see himself hovering just above his sleeping brother. With a ghostly hand he reached out and gently brushed his fingers over Ken's cheek, then vanished, reappearing once again in that eternity of gray fog. 

"Welcome back, young one. You've done well." 

The elder Ichijouji turned and looked at the old man who'd once given him a chance to help his baby brother. "Thank you. Just who are you that you can do things like this?" 

"I'm Gennai. Think of me as a gatekeeper to every world there is. You can't believe the frequent flyer miles I get." 

Osamu chuckled weakly, and the old man continued. "Without you, Leafmon would never have been reformatted, and Ken would have died. Most likely by his own hand if not in some worthless battle with a nameless virus." the old 'mon added softly 

"_What?_" 

"While its true that Digimon are usually reborn, the Wormmon that is your brother's partner had truly sacrificed everything to reach him. He didn't have the strength to reformat. By joining his soul with yours, _you_ gave him the strength to be reborn, and tap into the power inherent in the Crest of Kindness so Ken could reach you both." 

"I...I did that?" 

"You did. That sacrifice helped you prove yourself to the elders. You can move on now, young human." 

"W...what about my brother?" Osamu studied Gennai in terrified anticipation, his innate quizzical nature wanting to explore a new challenge, but at the same time afraid to leave Ken in his time of need. 

"He'll be fine. With young Daisuke's help and his Digimon's he'll be able to move beyond his past, in time. He's already begun his healing process. And you've changed as well. It's time, young Osamu." With a brilliant flash of no-light, both vanished. 

Back on Earth, Ichijouji Ken wrapped an arm around his partner and whispered in his sleep, "Thank you Osamu, for helping me find my heart." 

~Owari~ 

_**A/N**: I know I took a little liberty with this. Just take it on faith in this that several weeks passed from the time Ken found Leafmon, and when I had Osamu leave. That's all. I hope you all enjoyed!_


End file.
